And I Will Always Love You
by Jessicaa1567
Summary: The aftermath of Lily's death. How will Harvey cope when he learns about the news of his mom's death?


Okay so this was so hard to write because of all the crying I did haha but I really hope you guys like this story. 908 hurt me so much I just had to let it all out into a story. A big thank you to Brittany! (Sbstevenson2) for helping me out with this fic you're truly amazing! (y'all need to check her stories out they're amazing) and a thank you to everyone who answered any of my questions while I was writing this fic (It was a emotional rollercoaster and I was a mess lmaoooo) anyways tell me what you guys think in the reviews or on twitter (Jessicaahyfr)

* * *

After holding him for half an hour in the same spot, she decides that maybe it's better if they laid in bed.

"Let's go to bed," she whispers. She looks into his eyes and he doesn't say anything, just nodding while letting her take the lead. His eyes are still watery from crying so much.

Harvey feels so numb; he can't believe she's gone. He was just on the phone with her the other day telling her how much he loves her, and now he can never hear his mom say, _I love you too,_ or hear her laugh.

Seeing her smile will only just be a memory from now on.

He sobs quietly while Donna holds his hand, walking him to the bedroom. She helps him sit down and quickly gets changed. She brings him a change of clothes, quickly helping him into them. Harvey is lost in thought, thinking about something while staring at the wall as she helps him into his grey t-shirt. After finishing, she sits down and wraps her arms around him.

"Come to bed, honey." She rubs his arm to comfort him even more and to let him know that she was here for him.

He nods again and takes her hand as she helps him into the covers.

Donna was hurting as much as Harvey, because Lily was such a sweet woman and Harvey had finally found a good place with his mom. He had forgiven Lily and finally found peace with her.

Once they were in bed, he crawls to her and buries his face in her neck. Wanting to feel close to her since he couldn't feel anything.

She feels him softly cry. His heart is breaking, thinking about every memory he had with his mom.

He hears Donna talking. "Harvey, I'm here for you, always. Whatever you need I'm here for you." Hearing her words, he cries harder knowing at least she was there for him, and he holds her tighter.

"It's okay, Harvey." She rubs his back and they stay like that until he eventually falls asleep, not letting go of her.

Donna thinks about his mom and how lovely she sounded over the phone. She told her that she was the special someone that helped Harvey mend things with her, and she thanked her for it. It made Donna tear up. Unfortunately, Harvey didn't get to hear that since he had gone to go get some wine and dinner. But she was glad she got to share a moment with his mom. Donna had told her that it would be wonderful to meet her in person, and she that she knew that Lily would be even more wonderful in person than she was over the phone.

Donna cries thinking about her only moment with his mother.

She would never get to thank her for raising a wonderful son.

She rubs Harvey's back thinking about how he must be feeling. Glad he's at least sleeping right now.

Closing her eyes, she thinks about how she'll talk to him in the morning.

* * *

He wakes up when he feels the sunlight stream inside the bedroom, his face still wet from crying so much.

He notices he's in the same position but his head is now resting on Donna's shoulder, his hands still around her.

He feels her move, backing up a little bit and making eye contact with him.

"Hey, how are u feeling?" she says, cupping his cheek.

He shrugs his shoulders, not wanting to talk about it just yet. If he talks about it, he will start crying again. He just wants to hold her close and not say anything while laying in bed.

Donna looks at his eyes and sees how empty and swollen they were. Her heart breaks so much for him. She is going to take a day off so she can be there for him, maybe get him to open up a little bit so he can talk about how he's feeling, She knows bottling it up is only going to hurt him more.

Her hands caress his face, her fingers tracing over his two moles while locking her hazel eyes with his.

"You don't have to talk about it now but when you do, I'm here, okay?" She tilts his chin so his eyes are looking into hers. "I love you," she says.

Her eyes show all the love she has for him, and suddenly he is overcome with emotions.

He hugs her and holds her tighter. After staying in that position for a few minutes she slowly tries to get out of his hold, but he stops her.

"Don't go," he says, his voice breaking.

"Harvey, I'm just going to tell Faye that we aren't coming in today. I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay," he nods while letting her go. She gets up, taking her phone with her and walking into the living room.

She dials Faye's office number. It rings a few times until her secretary picks up.

"Faye Richardson's office, how may I help you?" she hears Tina say.

"Hey Tina, It's Donna; can I speak to Faye, please?" she says over the phone. Tina was always such a sweet old lady, but she felt bad for her because Faye wasn't the greatest boss to her.

"Sure, Donna!" she says cheerfully and transfers the phone to Faye.

"Faye Richardson speaking," she says in a bland voice.

"Hi, Faye, its Donna Paulsen. I'm just calling in because Harvey has a family emergency so he and I cannot come in today. I just wanted you to know that."

Faye sighs. "I'm sorry, Donna, but you both can't take the day off. Since its his family emergency I'll let him take the day off, but you must come in. Just because you're sleeping with Harvey doesn't mean you get to take a sick or emergency day with him."

Donna is gutted and so pissed off at what she had just said. How dare she speak about her and Harvey like that.

"Faye, that was rude of you to say, and what Harvey and I do is none of your business, and I'm sorry that I'm usually the one there for the people I care about, something I guess you don't ever do since you're always at someone's throat for something. I'll see you at the office, goodbye."

Donna hangs up the phone. She feels so angry, and she knows she isn't going to stay at the office for the whole day, not when Harvey is going through a major loss.

She paces back and forth, trying to think of some plan because she knows Harvey is going to be hurt over the fact that she's going to work even though she said she wouldn't.

She suddenly stops and takes out her phone to call Alex. She tells him briefly that she and Harvey needed the day off to deal with something personal and asks him if he could help them with Donna getting to leave after two hours. She tells him that she will owe him another favor, but he says no to that. "I don't need any favors Donna I'm doing this for you and Harvey" Alex says.

"Thank you, Alex" Donna says hanging up the phone soon after.

Walking back into the room she finds him in the same position, which was his stomach and his face facing towards the window.

She slides into her side of the bed and wraps her arms around him, bringing him closer to her.

"Hey," she says. She runs her fingers through his hair before continuing. "So, listen, we have a problem."

He finally looks up to her to see what she is on about.

"Faye told me that I have to come in, and she's only going to let you have a day off, not me. But I talked to Alex and he said he's going to cover for me, but I still have to go to the office for two hours at least," she says.

Harvey is disappointed but she knows it isn't her fault. "Okay, if you have to," he mumbles. His eyes get watery only because he doesn't know how he feels, doesn't know how to be okay without her with his mom not here. They were supposed to have more time together. He didn't even get a chance to introduce her to Donna in person, making him cry more.

"Harvey," she says, her heart breaking. She really didn't want to leave him.

She wipes his tears away. "I'll be home as soon as I can. I might not even have to stay for two hours. Okay?"

"Okay," he says, giving her a hug and holding her tight. "I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too," she says, letting him go and going to the bathroom to get ready quickly.

* * *

Arriving at the firm, she walks into her office, sending a few emails and talking with Louis and Alex. She eventually tells them what had happened to Harvey and what Faye said. They are angry at what Faye said to Donna and do not think Donna should be here. Donna is told to go home to Harvey because he needs her more. Both Alex and Louis agree they would handle everything at the office.

"But what if Faye asks where I am?" she says.

"We'll just tell her you're on an important business meeting and we will forward all of your calls to me," Alex says.

"Now you go be with Harvey, he needs you," Louis says, shooing her away.

She is glad she has such an amazing family at the firm. Donna has only been in the office for twenty minutes but after Louis and Alex saying that they would handle it, she quickly grabs her things and leaves while saying thank you to both of them.

* * *

Walking into his apartment, she finds Harvey in the living room sat on the couch. He is looking at something. She walks closer to him and notices that he is holding a photo album.

"Hey," she says, rubbing his shoulder. She looks at the photo album with him. It is photos of him and his mom when he was a child.

After flipping through some of the pictures, he finally speaks up.

"I brought this back when I was in Boston last time and just remembered about it," he says while his fingers trace over his mom's face in the picture.

"I miss her," he says.

* * *

_His mom takes him to the baseball game that he had today. Dad said he was going to come but couldn't come last minute, but his mom said that it was okay, she would take him to get some ice-cream after the game. Harvey is happy that his mom was her. He would try his best for his mom because he wanted her to be proud of him. If he hit a home run, he would win the game for the team. He hits the ball and runs fast to all the bases, and suddenly, all the kids start cheering after he makes it back. He broke the tie, and they win the game. He can hear his mom screaming and jumping up and down. Harvey has the biggest smile on his face. When his mom meets up with him by where the coach was standing, he runs up to her._

"_Mommy, Mommy, I did it, I did it!" the seven-year-old smiles, jumping up to her for a hug._

"_Oh, yes, you did, honey. You did such a great job. I am so proud of you, Harvey," she says, smiling at him and giving him the biggest hug ever._

"_Now let's go get that Ice-cream," she says with a heartwarming smile._

"_Yes!" he screams._

_A photographer wants to take a picture of Harvey and Lily so they both pose, holding up one finger since Harvey and his team had won. And Lily makes sure to get one of the photos to put in that photo album she is creating._

* * *

Looking at all the photos of his mom and him when he was on the baseball team. He smiles at all of the memories he had of her. It shows how she was always there for him. He looks at all the other pictures and every other good memory he has of her when he was younger, before everything went to shit.

He closes the book harshly and throws the photo album on the table, while shaking his head and putting his hands on his face.

Donna brings him closer and just sits with him, knowing she can't say anything right now and all he needs is comfort.

He starts talking while in her arms. "I was mad at her for so long and missed so many opportunities to make memories with her when all I had to do was forgive her and not let my anger and ego get in the way. But now it's too late."

Sobbing into Donna, she holds him closer, kissing his hair while his head is laid on her.

"I just miss her so much," he continues.

Donna heart breaks for hi. She wishes she could do something to take his pain away from him.

Finally speaking, she says, "But you did eventually forgive her and still made memories with her for the years she was with us, you should be proud of yourself, Harvey."

He nods but doesn't say anything. He knows she is right, but he just doesn't feel like talking anymore and just wants to lay there on the couch with her while the memories of his mother go through his head.

After a few minutes go with their silence, Donna breaks it.

"You know I was thinking that we should go to Boston early. I think it would be good to be surrounded with family for a few days before it gets packed with people for the funeral." Donna rubs her thumb on his face while talking to him.

She continues after he stays silent. "We can go today if you want to and come back after the funeral."

He thinks about what she says. "I think that would be a good idea. And you're okay with taking some time off from work? Since it is only Wednesday," he says turning his head and finally locking eyes with hers.

His eyes are red from all the tears that he had shed, and she quickly wipes the ones that were still streaming down his face.

"Of course it's fine with me. I want to be here for you, Harvey, okay?"

"Okay," he murmurs.

She gives him a quick peck and tells him to get up so they can pack and go.

* * *

They arrive at Marcus' house, already having talked to Marcus over the phone before they left about coming over and his brother insisted they stay at his house.

They knock on his door and Marcus opens it. Saying their Hi's, Marcus gives a hug to Harvey.

Letting themselves embrace each other for a little bit longer.

"Hey, Donna," he says, hugging her and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, Marcus, nice to finally meet you; wish it was under other circumstances," she says, giving him a kiss on the cheek as well.

* * *

"Harvey, remember when Mom took us to that cool waterpark and let us stay there all day? And she brought so much of our favorite foods because we begged her to," Marcus says, smiling at how much his mom cared for both of them.

Harvey smiles at the memory. "Yeah, that was a fun day."

Harvey starts reminiscing, "Yeah, you had so much food you started throwing up and we had to go back. We were so upset so Mom made a fun water park out in the backyard once you were feeling better."

He starts smiling. "She always knew how to cheer us up didn't she?" Harvey says.

Marcus is happy that Harvey is remembering all the good times with their mom and not focusing all the hurt and pain they went through after in their teens.

Marcus starts laughing, "Yeah, she did."

Marcus gets up after reminiscing about their mom, looking at the time. "So, the kids are staying with me this week, Harvey. Katie is bringing them soon after she picks them up from baseball practice. So, what would you like for dinner?" he asks, looking at Donna and Harvey.

"It's okay, Marcus, I'm not hungry right now, but if I change my mind, I'll let you know." Marcus knew that Harvey was too hurt over what happened with their mom and didn't feel like eating. He didn't want to push Harvey so he let it go but when he makes eye contact with Donna, she gives a look saying that she would talk to Harvey which he nods to.

Marcus, Donna, Harvey and the kids eat dinner together. The kids, especially Haley, asking Donna all sorts of questions since they're so fascinated with her.

Donna convinces Harvey to share the food with her so he would at least eat a little bit, which made Marcus smile, already knowing that Donna could convince him to do anything. It is bittersweet because he wishes that his mom was able to see that.

* * *

After dinner Donna ends up hanging out with the kids while Harvey sits with Marcus on the couch.

"Donna is great. I mean I already knew that but it's even better seeing it in person," Marcus says filling up the silence between him and Harvey while giving Harvey a small smile.

"Thanks, Marcus," Harvey says, lost in thought.

"Hey," he says, "I miss her too."

He nods. "Seeing Donna here with the kids and with you," Harvey says, pausing then continuing, "just makes me miss her even more because of how much I wish she was here to see all of this. It's going to be hard saying goodbye on Sunday. "

Marcus knew how he felt because he was feeling the exact same way. His mom wouldn't even get to see any more of the milestones that his kids were going to hit and now that she was gone, Harvey was all he had other than his kids.

"It's going to be okay," Marcus says while enveloping him into a hug.

Donna looks over and notices that the two brothers are hugging. She smiles to herself, glad Harvey is talking to his brother. She knows this is what he needed to help him cope with his loss.

* * *

They head to bed after Marcus says he was going to tuck the kids into bed.

After doing their nightly routines, they're both in bed, Harvey bringing her close to him.

"How are you feeling?" Donna stares at him in the dark while caressing his face.

"It still hurts, but it's nice to be surrounded by family. Thank you for suggesting this, Donna."

"You're welcome," she says, running her thumb above his eyebrow.

"But, Harvey, its okay if you're still hurting, and your mom will always be with you right here," she says, putting her hand on his heart.

"I know," he says, nodding his head.

"I wish I had more time with her. There were so many things I had planned to do. Like introducing you guys to each other in person, this time spending Thanksgiving and Christmases together. If I knew the last time we were going to talk would be two days ago, I would've been there with her so I could say goodbye," he says, choking up.

"I was looking forward to those occasions as well, but she will still be looking down at us and smiling that we are all spending time together."

"Also," she continues, "You have your brother, your nephew, niece and me here for you, Harvey. We will all get through this together." She kisses him on the cheek. "Now let's get some sleep."

"Goodnight, Donna," he says, holding her close and listening to her heartbeat.

* * *

The next few days they start preparing for the funeral. Donna helps the people who are staying over and helps with the food for the wake. The boys are helping with the funeral to make sure the funeral ceremony runs smoothly.

"So, Harvey, now we just need to figure out who's giving out speeches."

Harvey gives him a weird look. "I thought we concluded that you were giving a speech and Bobby?" Harvey questions him.

"Harvey, I think you should say something. Mom would've wanted you to."

That strikes a chord. He doesn't want to say anything because it would be too hard.

Harvey didn't say anything and just goes back to signing some papers for the funeral, Marcus stops him, taking the pen away from him.

Harvey looks up at him, knowing that Marcus still has more to say.

Marcus continues as soon as he gets his attention. "She loved you so much, Harvey, even when you guys didn't talk all those years ago. She always talked about you when Dad or I would update her on you, and she was so proud of you, Harvey. When you started talking again, she was so overjoyed. Every time she talked about you, she had the biggest smile on her face. So that's why I think you should give a speech."

Harvey has tears streaming down his face. He didn't know any of that and is so glad that his mom still thought of him even when they weren't on talking terms.

"Thank you, Marcus, I'll give the speech," he says, giving him a hug.

* * *

_He is so upset he had asked out a girl from his grade 5th class and she said no._

_His mom knocks and comes into his room, knowing something was wrong when he came home and quickly ran up the stairs instead of talking about his day like he always does._

"_Hey, honey, what's wrong? You seem so down." His mom always knew when something was wrong with him. She sits down with him listening to what he had to say. When he doesn't, she says, "You know you can talk to me about anything. Even if you think it's not important. I'll still think it's important to talk about," she says softly. She rubs his back encouraging him._

_Her encouraging words help him feel a little bit better to at least talk about it. "I asked out Suzie to the school's dance, but she said no and is now going with Jason instead," he says, hurt. He continues when his mom senses that he has more to say, "I overheard her making fun of me with her friends."_

_Lily's heart breaks thinking about how Harvey must feel at such a young age._

"_Well, Harvey, she is missing out on a wonderful boy who would treat her nice and would've been a wonderful date to the dance. There are so many other girls who would be lucky to have you as a date to the dance. You just wait. You'll know when you find the right girl. Anyways, why don't you ask Sarah to the dance? She seems like a lovely girl," she says to Harvey about their next-door neighbors' daughter who also goes to his school._

_Harvey smiles, his mom always knew how to make everything better. "Thank you, Mom," he says, giving her a hug._

"_Guess what I made? Your favorite dessert: strawberry pie."_

_Harvey gets up excitedly. "Then what are we doing up here?" he exclaims. His mom laughs while they go downstairs to eat that pie._

* * *

Today is the funeral. Harvey tries several times to fix his tie, but he just can't. He has so many different emotions going through him right now. They are putting his mom in the ground today and he is giving a eulogy to some family members who he doesn't even know but who knew him and all his history with his mom.

Donna walks in seeing that he was struggling with his tie, and she knew it was because of the funeral.

She quickly walks up to him and fixes his tie. "Everything will be okay. Harvey, we will get through this together. And if you're nervous about the speech, I know it's going to be beautiful and everyone will know how much of a wonderful person your mother was."

He takes a deep breath. "Thank you, Donna," he says, giving her a quick kiss.

"Are you ready to say goodbye?" she says, intertwining her fingers with his.

He nods, and they walk to the funeral.

* * *

Marcus has just finished his speech, Bobby giving his speech first. All his family and his moms' friends were here. Harvey is nervous knowing he was next.

Donna caresses his hand, giving him a look that says she's here for him and that he is going to do great.

He gets up and stands before everyone. He looks at the crowd and begins his speech.

"My mom had always been a big part of my life as a child. She would always take me to baseball games and come on field trips with me when I was a kid. The thing that always stands out to me now when I look back at it is that she was always my number one fan, even when we weren't on the best terms. It showed me how much of a loving and caring, kindhearted woman my mom was." Harvey looks at the casket and starts talking again, "Mom, I love you so much and I'm going to miss you so much. I wish I had more time with you, and I'm sorry it took me so long to forgive you. I just want you to know that you'll always be in my heart and whatever the future holds for me and Donna, I know that you'll be looking down at us and smiling." Harvey is crying with full tears streaming down his face.

Donna is crying at how beautiful his speech was. She didn't hear it before, wanting him to have some privacy with his private thoughts about his mom. She is so proud of him; it took so much courage to do that.

He sits down next to her, watching the next part of the funeral take place and intertwining their fingers together.

* * *

They are sitting in the car while the driver takes them to the wake at his mom's house.

"Harvey," she says, caressing his hand to get his attention. He turns to her, seeing what she wants to say.

"That speech was so beautiful; your mom would've loved it. I'm so proud of you for doing that," she says, tears still streaming down her face from the speech and the fact that Lily was really gone.

When he didn't say anything, she wipes his tears, "I miss her, too," she says. She takes him in her arms and he's letting out all the pain he feels. Donna soothes his back with her hand, giving him a pepper of kisses around his cheek, head and neck. After he has quieted down, she notices that they are already at Lily's house.

After a few minutes go by, she whispers in his ear if he is ready to go inside, and he says yes.

Giving him a small smile, she takes his hand while they get out to go to the wake.

When they walk in, everyone tells Harvey how his speech was so beautiful and that his mom would've been so proud.

* * *

They were both going to leave after the wake but decided to leave on Monday, not wanting to be away from family.

When they were laying in bed, Harvey brought Donna close to him.

"Donna," he says, caressing her face and giving her a small peck.

She connects her eyes with his, letting him know that she is listening.

"Thank you for coming with me and supporting me. I don't think I could've gotten through with this without you, Donna."

"Harvey, you know how much I love you and how I'm always here for you and how much I love your mom and also wanted to say goodbye, too."

She notices that he has something else to say but he is hesitating.

"What is it?" she questions him, wanting him to spit out whatever he is thinking of.

"I was just thinking about this and you can say no, or we can just think on it, but I would really love to move to Boston. Just because I would get to spend more time with my family. I just hate how much time I missed, especially with my mom, and I don't want that to happen again," he says sincerely. He interrupts her before she can respond, "But if you don't want to then we won't, because I want to be wherever you are."

Her eyes were filled with love. She loves him so much and would do anything for him.

"Yes, Harvey, I would love to move to Boston, but let's find a house before we do anything else. I don't want to disrupt Marcus' life. Is that okay?"

Harvey's mouth is wide open.

"So, you'll move in with me, here?" he says, taking her hand in his.

She nods with a smile on her face.

"God, I love you so much," he says.

He locks his lips with hers for a few minutes until releasing his mouth from hers.

"I love you, too," she says.

* * *

Months have gone by and they have been looking at different houses in Boston. Flying in and out and seeing which house would look great for their new home. They see a new house and Donna has a feeling that maybe this house would be it.

It is a house that had a big yard which is what they wanted and some extra rooms inside the house which Donna loved. There is an open kitchen, and everything has hardwood floors. It reminds her a little bit of her apartment and his.

"This one is it, Harvey"

"Yes, it is, Donna, it's beautiful." He smiles at her.

* * *

_*One year later*_

Donna finally arrives to the cemetery, looking at the stone that had Lily Specter written on it and the years 1946-2019. Donna runs her fingers over it. She can't believe that it has been a year since his mother's passing. A lot has happened since then. They had finally moved to Boston, and Harvey hadn't worked for a month, just wanting to feel more settled and spend time with some family. Then they opened a small firm where they could help people, which inspired him to work part time teaching at Harvard once a week. His firm takes some graduates from the university and mentors them as well. Donna is helping at the firm and teaching theatre once a week, which she loves doing. After quitting the firm, they realized how much more time they had while working in a smaller firm, which they loved.

She put the yellow lilies down beside her grave while she takes Harvey's hand and intertwines her fingers with his.

She rubs her already pregnant belly. She is six months along and is also engaged to be married to Harvey. The wedding is next week; they were both excited.

"Hey, Lily, it's been a year since you passed away, and we still miss you so much and wish you were here with us right now. We know you're watching down over us and just wanted to let you know how your grandkids are doing. That's right, grandkids. We're having twins, Lily." Donna is crying talking to Lily. She misses her a lot. Even though they didn't get to meet officially in person, she was still a big part of her life. Harvey rubs his thumb over the palm of her hand. He puts some pink roses down, taking a deep breath.

"Mom. I miss you so much. Everyday. It's been hard here without you, especially since we live in Boston now and that every time I want to see you I can't because you're not here," his voice cracks but he continues, "But I know you'll always be here with me in my heart, and I know you'll always be looking down at us," his eyes blurring from crying.

"I hope you know how much of a great father I'm going to be just like how you always knew I would be. I can't wait until the twins are born so you can see how beautiful your grandkids look." He touches the stone while staring at it, Donna giving him space so he can talk to his mom. "I love you mom, so much." They stand there hand and hand, Donna laying her head on his chest as he lay his chin on top of her head. Talking to Lily.


End file.
